


Bound To You

by Until_Bliss



Category: SKAM (Spain)
Genre: Croana, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-04-12 14:29:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 20,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19133944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Until_Bliss/pseuds/Until_Bliss
Summary: It was only supposed to be a one time thing...





	1. Chapter 1

Cris was vaguely aware of her back connecting with the bathroom wall. The humming vibration from the girl who’s mouth was currently on hers was that of a light apology and subconsciously Cris knew that there would be some sort of bruise tomorrow. She was supposed to be with her girls, downing back to back shots with Eva that they’d both regret in the morning, she was supposed to be dancing along with Viri and Nora all while dragging a semi reluctant Amira into the mix, Cris was supposed to be doing a lot of things right now and none of them had anything to do with shoving her tongue in some girls mouth.

But it felt fucking amazing.

The pounding from the loud music from outside drowned out the hammering in her chest. Her fingers were intertwined with the girls hair, their bodies practically molded together and this girl, the one who’s brown eyes drew her in through the crowded bodies of the club, was kissing her like it was her like nothing else mattered. 

When they parted for air, Cris leaned her head back against the bathroom wall and her eyes fluttered closed the moment she felt those soft pair of lips make contact with her jaw and then move down to the base of her neck. Her mind was way too foggy on the high her body was feeling and as much as Cris wanted to blame it on whatever she and Eva popped over thirty minutes ago, she knew it had everything to do with the girl in front of her now. As much as Cris was enjoying the moment, the dominating kisses that left her breathless and wanting more,anybody could come it at any given moment and see her like this and that sudden fear was what made Cris’s eyes shoot open as the panic started up. “ We should um-“ she gasped slightly when the girl sucked on the pulse of her neck, fingertips teasing the exposed skin beneath Cris’s crop top. Fuck what was she even saying?

No, she knew they needed to stop because things were getting too carried away and the last thing Cris wanted was one of her friends to walk in and see her, or anyone for that matter. She was just having fun with someone who so happened to be a girl... it didn’t mean anything. “ We should stop” Cris finally got out once she found the strength to push the dark haired girl away slightly so that there was a foot or two between them.

Her blue eyes darkened by lust matched the same desire that pooled in those brown eyes the girl had, the ones that put her in this predicament in the first place. She watched as the girl ran her fingers through her dark hair with purple tips, wet her lips and then chuckled lightly that echoed thoughout the bathroom. A sound that sent shivers up Cris’s back. “ You’re right we should”.

There was a teasing tone in her voice because despite Cris being the one to stop them she couldn’t stop her eyes from dropping to the raven hairs swollen pink lips and she was almost certain hers looked the same. “ Yeah” Cris breathed out, her voice sounding distant..distracted almost. Her fingers adjusted her top just as the bathroom door opened with two drunk girls stumbling through, one holding the other up before finding the closest bathroom stall.

Cris let out a sigh of relief becuse if the two of them had come in any earlier they would have surely seen, not that they were in a state to remember but Cris didn’t wanna take that chance. Any hope of a moment between the two was now ruined, evident in the look of mild disgust and amusement from the other girl once the sounds of hurling began from the far end bathroom stall. “ Well that’s my cue to leave” She spoke up, hands slipping into the pocket of her pants and her brown eyes looked Cris over slowly like she was taking in every inch of her. She looked as if she wanted to say something more but simply licked her lips once more and then turned and slipped out the bathroom door leaving Cris a heated and disheveled mess. It took her about five extra minutes to calm her heart rate and fix herself up so she didn’t look like she just had some mind blowing make out session. Only starring into the mirror that it dawned on Cris that she never got the girls name.  
———-  
“Helloooooo!? Earth to Cris!l” Eva’s voice rung out over the music and chatter followed by two snapping fingers that dragged Cris from her thoughts of earlier events and into the eyes of a curious friend. “ Damn girl I’ve been talking to you this whole time” Eva spoke, a small smirk on her lips as she nudged Cris with a red cup in hand.“ Where did you go?”

Fuck.

Cris opened her mouth only to close them momentarily and Eva’s brows furred slightly as she waited for an answer that Cris was trying to weasel her way out of. “ Oh you know me when I get to talking, found some cute guy sooo” her voice trailed off with the Insinuation Eva caught onto. “ Aaaaah okay girl!” The petite brunette pulled Cris into an excited hug and half of her excitement was due to all the alcohol she consumed into that small frame of hers. “ Who’s the lucky guy?”

Double fuck.

Cris bit down slightly on her lower lip, her hazy mind trying to come up with yet another excuse. “ Hmmm how about I get us some more drinks first” she watched as Eva’s eyes dropped down to her near empty cup before smacking her lips together in approval. “ Yes yes I definitely need more“. Not wasting anymore time Cris quickly wiggled her way through a few bodies and leaned against the open space at the bar and ordered two more drinks.  
“ Put the tab on me” A deep voice rung out from over Cris’s shoulder and she turned her head in the direction to see deep brown eyes locking with hers, tall lean frame and warm smile that belonged to none other than Rubèn. He and Dani has been friends for almost as long as she had been with Amira and their relationship was one of Dani’s baby sister.

“ Oh you don’t have to” Cris gave a small smile and Ruben simply shook his head. “ I know, I wanted too”. He flashed his pearly white teeth and Cris shifted her gaze briefly to the bar tender who slid her two cups before turning to fully face Rubèn. It was clear to see why all of her friends found him attractive. He was. But for some reason she wasn’t as into him as all her friends... or every other female for that matter and she couldn’t quite understand why. Right now her mind kept drifting back to the raven haired girl with purple tips and the tingling sensation that lingered on her lips. And the fact that she never got her name.

“ I’m surprised to see you not under my brothers ass. I’d grown to assume that was your home” Cris teased and Ruben tilted his head back in laughter. “ Ah Dani’s baby sister has jokes. Ya know it’s weird seeing you so composed.. you usually have your face down a toilet right about now.. not a pretty sight” Rubèn made a playful face of disgust that Cris lightly shoved off of him. “ Idiot”. She eyed him for a moment, watching his brown eyes quickly check her out before forming a small cough. “ Well I better bring Eva her drink before she issues out a manhunt. See you around?” Rubèn nodded his head, smiling widening. “ Count on it”.


	2. Chapter 2

“ Ugh that last drink really screwed me over” Eva groaned. Her face morphed into mild disgust as she leaned her forehead on Nora’s shoulder who abenmindedly stroked the girls hair while looking at her phone.  
Cris nodded in approval. Her fingers were pinching the bridge between her nose before Eva spoke up again. “ Fuck I shouldn’t have asked you to get me more alcohol... why you have to give me more” Eva pouted and Cris looked at her friend.  
Me!? I didn’t force you to drink it and besides... you gave me that cute pouty look, how could I saw no to that” She leaned over and gripped Eva’s face playfully before the brunette rolled her eyes and patted Cris’s hands away. 

“ You two always do this. Drink way too much and play the blame game” Amira smirked as she leaned against the stairs railing arms folded over her chest with that ‘ You know I’m right’ look and both Cris and Eva pouted at the comment. “ Yeah well besides that Cris seemed to have had a lot of fun last night” Eva dragged out and Cris watched as Viri perked up even more than she already was, Nora’s eyebrow raised slightly and Amira who’s eyes were now solely on Cris. “ Really, what happened?” Was Amira’s response.  
“ What did you do” Was Nora’s  
“ Who did you do” Was Viri’s.

Cris tried and failed miserably at keeping her face a normal shade and Eva did a little dance around Cris who was internally sweating like crazy. Did one of them see her walk into the bathroom with that girl? Had she said something while she was black out drunk? Had she-  
“ She was cozy with Ruben” Eva spoke in a song like tone and Cris had never felt so relived in her life. Viri was the first person to comment. “ Girl Rubèn is Fine.. so did y’all just talk or-  
“ Yes we just talked” Cris cut in wanting to dispense any thoughts that the two had slept together. “ And he paid for me and Eva’s drinks”  
“ Girl he could pay for mines” Viri mused and Nora smirked but made no comment.  
“ So do you like him?” Amira asked after Eva and Viri had finally stopped talking explicitly about Rubèn and if he seemed like a good lay or not.

Cris honestly never really thought about her feelings for Rubèn before. It was a given that he was good looking and he seemed nice enough but Rubèn didn’t make her heart skip a beat when he was around nor did she have any fantasies about him either. She wouldn’t lie however and say that he wasn’t nice to look at. “ Yeah he’s nice”  
“ And he’s fine”  
“Tall”  
“ And he has a car” Viri nodded her head grinning before breaking into a small laugh as she and Eva gave each other a high five while Nora and Amira shook their heads. “ Pssh whatever I just want one of Cris’s brothers” Amira shrugged and Cris smiled rolling her eyes before Eva and Viri started asking a billion questions about her older brothers and honesty Cris was just glad that the conversation shifted off of Rubèn.  
“ Look my brothers are way too old for you and Dani’s reserved for Amira” Viri pouted and Cris simply shrugged adjusting the bag on her shoulder. “ And as much as I would love to auction off my brothers, I can’t afford to be late for this class again. School had never been fond of Cris no matter how hard she tried and after awhile, she simply gave up with trying and simply crossed her fingers and hoped for the bare minimum at best.

Math wasn’t as bad or as boring as Pedro’s english lecture but at least with Pedro he tried to make things interesting. Mrs. Martinez was as dry and she was stern and honestly Cris didn’t think she’d seen her smile once since the term started. “ Hey I’m surprised to see you here” Hugo spoke as he took his seat beside Cris. “ Why, is that a bad thing?” Cris teased and she watched as Hugo’s checks turned slightly pink and he stumbled over his words. “ Ah n-no that’s- what I meant to say was I’m glad your in class today”. Cris had to bite down on her lower lip to keep her chuckle in and slowly nodded her head . Hugo had always been a sweetheart and there had been a few times at parties where the two had made out but Cris never really thought much about it and she assumed Hugo didn’t either.“ Relax I’m teasing. And yeah Martinez pretty much told me that if I continue to skip her class I’ll fail and I don’t want my mom on my back anymore than she already is”.

Hugo hummed and then coughed slightly, brown eyes glancing over at Cris before speaking in a lower tone so not to disturb the teacher. “ I wish I saw you more.. well at my party I mean. I was sort of looking for you” his words trailed off and Cris’s lips formed the shape of an O. “ Ah I’m sorry, you know how I am at parties. Super drunk and chatty with everyone”. Hugo nodded his head again before opening their shared textbook to the correct page. “ Well I’m glad you had fun” Cris matched Hugo’s smile before Mrs.Martinez’s hand connected with the desk made Cris jump back in her seat startled and hiss slightly at the slight pain in her back.

“ It’s good to see you in class Cristina” Mrs. Martinez spoke and Cris almost winced at the use of her full name. She was so used to hearing it with her mother when she was on one of her lectures that hearing it any other tone made her think she was going to hear that or a comment about being disappointed. Her hand reached behind to her back and she noticed Hugo’s eyes follow her movements.  
“ Shit you okay? What happened to your back”.

Cris’s mind suddenly flashed back to last nights events. How she had been laughing with her girls and challenging Eva with shots. How somehow through the crowded bodies, Cris’s eyes landed on that girl with the raven hair and purple tips. How her body moved before her mind could process anything and suddenly she was in a heated make out session and gained a bruise as the result of being too worked up.

She could feel her face redden and instead of meeting Hugo’s clueless soft gaze she trained her blue eyes onto the textbook. “ Silly me came home drunk and I feel off the bed” Cris shrugged and when she heard Hugo’s small laugh her body relaxed somewhat but her heart...not so much. Because now for the remainder of class her thoughts were less pre occupied on the lesson, even further from her friends spamming her in the group chat about Rubèn, and solely on the nameless girl who’s kisses left her breathless and wanting more.


	3. Chapter 3

Cris shifted her weight on both her arms before reaching for the bowl of popcorn that occupied a small space against the wall of her bed. “ I honestly don’t know how you do it, I’m so mentally drained right now”. Cris’s head dropped down to the book beneath her as Amira laughed through the screen from her laptop. “ What you mean doing work and actually applying yourself? Girl it’s really not that bad” Cris groaned slowly picking her face up from her book with a pout. “ Easy for you to say you actually like school”  
“ Like is a strong word” Amira hummed “ More like I tolerate it. If you actually showed up to your classes more often you wouldn’t be this stressed”. Amira raised her hands in surrender at Cris’s hard gaze before twirling the pen between her fingers. “ You’re almost done and then you can relax”. It seemed like everyone of Cris’s friends had better luck in school subjects than she did more often than not, but she couldn’t lie and say Amira wasn’t right. Half of it was her fault. It took two popcorn breaks, some music and Cris dancing around her room while Amira laughed until her stomach hurt, but her homework got done. 

“ See was that so bad?” Amira asked but her question went unanswered from the sudden knock on Cris’s door before her mom peaked her head in. “ Just checking in d-, oh and Hello Amira”  
“ Hello Mrs. Soto, you look nice as always” came Amira’s usual comments to butter Cris’s mother up. It worked every time. Cris rolled her eyes as her mom’s smiled widened. “Oh your too sweet. Cristina could learn a thing or two from you”.

“Here she goes” Cris huffed in annoyance but her mother simply ignored her and focused on the laptop screen. “ You’ve always been such a great friend to Cris”  
“ Oh trust me Cris is amazing too”  
“ Mmmmh”  
“ Mom is there something you wanted?” Cris bit out and she watched her mom finally take her attention off the daughter she wish she had and to her actual one.  
“ Oh yes, dinner is ready so freshen up”. Her mother gave Amira a small goodbye before slipping out the door and Cris starred at the place where her mother once stood with mild annoyance until Amira’s voice came from behind her. “ I have to go too. My dads calling me for something... see you in the morning before class?”  
“ Yup I’ll come pick you up on my way”  
“ Don’t be late”  
“ Bitch I’m never late” Cris winked and then closed her screen as Amira flipped her off.

In all honesty the two bowls of popcorn and bottle of water during her homework session with Amira has been more than enough to fulfill her hunger for the night but she also knew that if she didn’t it would just be one more argument to have with her mom and honestly Cris was way too through to fight. Cris had been scrolling on her phone when the door to her room opened and immediately Cris shook her head rolling her eyes. “ Fuck mom I’m com-“ her voice trailed off seeing Dani leaning against the door.  
“ Jesus you ass I thought you were mom coming to lecture me or something”  
“ Or something” Dani spoke, his tone stern and his eyes started into Cris’s expectantly, like he was waiting for something.

Cris’s face morphed into one of confusion and she picked up her phone to see if there was something on her face . “ Do I have a pimple or something? Or some popcorn crumbs?” She questioned making a small motion with her hands to wipe her face and Dani sighed. “ You don’t remember what you said last night”  
“....No” Cris sat up from her best suddenly. Her stomach was in a knot and there was that nauseating feeling from this morning creeping back in. She really had to watch how many shots she took because right now the only thing Cris could think of was that she slipped up and drinking mentioned it.

Dani looked pissed from where he was standing and suddenly Cris was coming up with any form of excuse. “ We were just having fun I- we- Cris stumbled over her words and then huffed “ It as just a k-“ Dani waved his hand as to cut her off and Cris shut up completly. “ Look I don’t care about you and Eva getting wild you do that all the time... but this time you fucked up Cris”.

Oh. So it wasn’t about the girl from the club.

Wait..

“ What did I say last night” Cris’s body had calmed down from the nervous panic that kicked in just moments ago but seeing Dani this upset wasn’t helping. “ When I dragged you back home you mentioned you and Eva popping some pills you found and when I asked you where you got it, you were too drunk to answer” 

Cris frowned “ Dude It was only two pills and If I knew you were gonna be this uptight I wouldn’t have taken them from your jacket-“  
“ That’s just it Cris... it wasn’t my jacket”  
“ Wait...what”  
Dani ran his fingers through his dirty blonde hair in annoyance and Cris suddenly felt small under his gaze. “ I’ve never done drugs In my life Cris. I care about football way too much to ruin myself... Look someone saw you and the guy that owned the drugs was looking for you but Rubèn said he took it.”  
“ Wait what!!”Cris was standing up now and Dani nodded his head. “ Rubèn got into a fight, lying to protect you from your stupid decision!”  
“ It was a mistake” Cris yelled and Dani hissed for her to keep her voice down.  
They stared at each other for what felt like eternity before their dads voice bellowed from the living room for them to come eat.

Dani signed and shook his head, those angry features from earlier were now worse. He was disappointed. “ You wanna make adult decisions then be prepared for adult consequences. One day I’m not going to be here to protect you, nor dad or Rubèn. You’ve gotten too content with getting lucky Cristina... you need to grow up” 

Cris whole body was rigid. From the information to Dani’s lecture and disappointed look. One she was getting all too familiar with in this house. Her eyes were casted to the floor but and she didn’t look up even when she heard Dani approach but she didn’t shy away from his hand when it rested gently on her shoulder. “ Look” Dani sighed “ Rubèn covered for you so you don’t have to worry about the guys but just at least thank the guy for saving your ass is all” his tone was softer now and Cris nodded her head finally meeting her brothers eyes. “ Okay I will”.

Seeming content with the answer Dani nodded and walked out the room leaving Cris rooted in place in the middle of the room. She was trying so hard to remember what happened with the pills but every image was simply her taking shots and the raven haired girl who’d been in her head all day. Not only did she have to worry about school but now she was in debt to Rubèn who had taken the heat for her.

She was so fucked.


	4. Chapter 4

“ Dude”  
“ I know”   
“ What The Fuck!?” Eva semi shouted only for Cris to place her hand over Eva’s mouth and then look over the girls shoulder to the rest of their friends who were all too preoccupied in their own conversation. “ Damn well let the whole school know”  
“ Sorry sorry” Eva glanced around warily at the passing students before leaning closer to Cris. “ Damn girl I mean what’s gonna happen now?”  
“ Honestly I don’t know. I texted Rubèn this morning thanking him but I gotta get the money and pay him back”  
Cris watched as Eva but down on her lip nervously. “ I can help I mean I’m sure I can get some-“  
Cris put her hand up shaking her head. “ Nah girl I took the pills, it’s my responsibility okay? Just- just don’t say anything to the rest of the girls. I don’t want them getting worried and stuff”. Eva nodded quickly and then patted Cris’s back lightly.  
“ Don’t worry, you’ll figure this out”.

She sure hoped so.

“ You two having some secret meeting or something? Let’s go” Nora beckoned them over with her hand right as the warning bell rang and Cris groaned following her friends up the steps and into the building. “ I got Pedro’s class today so pray for me”  
“ Ah he’s not so bad” Viri bumped shoulders with Cris who paused at the hall where her class belonged. “ He’s fine until he gets all creative with assignments and then I’m fucked”Cris huffed and girls laughed before everyone broke off in the direction of their respective classes and Cris dragged her feet into Litt.

Of course most of the seats were already filled and Cris had forgotten that there were people who actually enjoyed waking up early and attending school. Such suckers. Cris made sure that she was in the back middle row, that way it wasn’t too close to Pedro’s gaze and she could sneak out a text or two and it wasn’t too far to the back so Pedro wouldn’t feel the need to call on her and check if she was paying attention or Dozing off.

Like clockwork Pedro walked into the classroom right as the final bell sounded with his usual over enthused greeting and Cris slouched down even further into her seat. “ Okay class today we’re going to begin a new project. Due to most of your feedback from the last project I won’t be assigning partners for this one”. At the news the entire class let out various signs of relief and small chatter. “ Alright settle down. I’ll be passing the sheet around so find a part-“ Pedro’s voice trailed off, two soft taps against the door before it opened and Pedro gave a warm smile. “ Come In” and when they did Cris’s heart skipped and her jaw dropped.

It was her.

She was wearing black combat boots that matched the color of her pants and a stripped shirt that was mostly covered by her vintage styled jean jacket. Her hair was up in a messy bun and from the angle Cris was sitting at she could see the shaved undercut. She watched the girl as her nose scrunched up slightly, brown eyes peering at the small paper in hand before showing it into the back of her pocket. “ Is this Junior Litt?” She questioned and Pedro clasped his hands together nodding. “ Yes you much be Joana”  
The girl hummed in response, eyes slowly moving around the room before stopping right on Cris and for a split moment she saw the surprise on Joana’s face but it was gone as quickly as it had appeared. “ Why don’t you take a seat, there’s an empty one next to Cristina right over there”. 

If her heart hadn’t been pounding before it certainly was now. She was hyper aware of Joana’s presence as she walked down the few rows to their desk and Cris kept her eyes on her notebook because honestly she didn’t think her heart could take it if they made eye contact again. She listened to Joana get herself together, the zipper of her bag opening and the slight squeak of her chair as she shifted in her seat. Pedro had started back up on the information of the project and Cris was really trying to pay attention but damn was it hard and it didn’t help that there was a billion questions going through her head.

Did Joana even remember what happened a few days ago? Would she act like nothing happened? Did she expect Cris to say something? What was she supposed to say? Joanna didn’t make it seem like she remembered so maybe Cris was just overthinking for no reason at all.

“ Sunday’s party was fun no?” Joana spoke up from Cris’s side and the sudden voice made Cris’s head quickly turn to the direction only to see Joana’s brown eyes gazing into hers expectantly. Fuck so she did remember. Any indication was evident from the way the corners up her lips curved up like she was trying to fight the smile from her lips and Cris found herself starring way longer than intended. “ Oh um yeah you were good” Joana’s eyebrow rose slightly in amusement and Cris shook her head quickly. “ I meant the party was good”.

God she wanted to crawl into a hole.

“ Girls” Pedro looked between Joana and Cris before placing a paper on their desk and Cris was more than aware of Joana as she leaned over slightly so that their shoulders were touching. Cris knew it was just to see the paper better but the sudden contact made her cheeks flush. “ So, you wanna be partners?” Joana questioned. “ I mean everyone looks paired up by now and I’ll even let you pick which one we do”.  
“ Okay fine. It doesn’t matter which one as long as it has a movie” the comment elicited a small laugh from Joana, one that made Cris smile. She suddenly wanted to hear it more often. “ Okay Dangerous Liaisons it is”. 

When class was over Cris grabbed her bag and slipped her textbook in her bag right when a piece of paper landed on her desk and Cris looked up to see Joana getting ready to leave. “ It’s my number... for the project and stuff”. Cris nodded her head taking the paper between her fingers as she watched Joana glance down at her phone with a sigh. “ See you tomorrow?”  
“ Yeah.. oh wait- Um at the party did you happen to see anything of mines? Like a bag?”  
Joana’s face scrunched up in mild confusion as she shook her head slowly “ Nah sorry”. There was a pause before that same cocky grinned formed on her lips and Cris honestly wanted to just grab her by the collar of her jacket and kiss that smirk right off. “ I wish I could help but I was kind of... preoccupied to notice anything”. The insinuation was there from the teasing glint in Joana’s eyes to the way they briefly dropped down to Cris’s lips and she just knew she was beat red by now. 

“ See you later Cris”. Joana laughed as she slipped out the door leaving Cris flushed with slight embarrassment and wondering how the hell she was gonna be able to keep it together when it came to Joana.


	5. Chapter 5

Cris’s leg had been shaking for about ten minutes. Her eyes kept glancing at the front door and then at her mother who was seated in her favorite chair humming faintly to the music that was playing in the living room. Her father had just come in from work, the keys jingling in the door made Cris’s body perk up at the sound and it seemed like every little noise did that to her. She was on edge. Dani had messaged her fifteen minutes ago to let her know that Rubèn was coming home with him and now she painfully aware of every passing second.

“ How’s your homework?” Cris’s mother spoke up, her brown eyes casting over to Cris who met her gaze only for a few moments.  
“ It’s fine”  
“ Making progress?”  
Cris huffed placing the pen down and gave her mother a look. “ I would if I wasn’t constantly being interrupted”. At the comment her mother sighed and stood up from her seat. “ I don’t want to argue with you Cristina. Maybe if your grades were better I wouldn’t be hovering over you so much”. Cris bit back a remark as she watched her mother leave into her bedroom and for the first time since the past hour she had been studying, she could relax.

But it didn’t last long.

The front door opened with simple male chatter following suit and Cris braced herself for when the two came into view. Dani was in his training clothes, his hair spiked and shooting in different directions due to sweat and no doubt his fingers tousling through it. Ruben followed in beside him in a simple pair of jeans and a buttoned down t shirt. His hair unlike her brothers wasn’t a wild mess. Ruben’s left brow sported a bandage, his lip had a cut that was healing and the right side of his jaw had a bruise no doubt from where most of the blows landed.

Cris frowned at the sight but quickly masked any signs of discomfort with a half smile. Ruben’s smile widened at the sight of Cris but slowly dropped due to the pain in his jaw. “ Well look who’s actually studying for once” Dani teased before ducking from the pen tossed in his direction. Ruben shook his head with a lazy grin. “ You know she’s performance shy, now her work will never get done”.  
“ Oh you too Rubèn? The doors right behind you” Her blue eyes shot to the door and Ruben raised his hands in defense. “ Okay okay, you got it”.

“ I’m gonna take a quick shower before we head back out” Dani looked over at Rubèn who gave a nod and then focused his attention back on Cris who shot Dani a look. She watched as her brother feigned innocence and then moved down the hall leaving the two alone.  
“ I um... I’m really sorry about what happened and you know...your face” Cris winced slightly and Ruben shook his head taking a seat across from her. “ It’s okay and besides, you should see the other guys”.

Cris rolled her eyes at the comment but she smirked nonetheless. She knew that he had taken a pretty nasty beating and the two guys at the party had at least twenty to thirty pounds on Rubèn. Needless to say he wasn’t walking around in triumph. “ Look I’ll get you the money back for your troubles and everything I promise”. Cris had felt horrible for what happened the past few days to the point where she went out of her way to not run into Dani unless it was absolutely necessary.

“ Cris really it’s fine, no rush. I’m just glad that it was me instead of you”. Ruben put on that charming smile and Cris simply blinked. Was he- he was flirting. Her fingers went to move a few strands of hair from her face and tuck them behind her ears. “ Okay”.

Cris didn’t really know what to say. Ruben was Dani’s friend not hers and they’d only hung out in group settings where she was too busy getting wasted to notice. Now? She was more than aware of how alone the two were, his piercing brown eyes and the way they dropped to her lips every so often and how there was only the length of the table that seemed to separate them.

Dani sure was taking a long ass shower.

“ Cris”  
“ Hmm?”  
Ruben chuckled shaking his head. “ I asked you what you were doing this weekend. There’s this bar in town that has good prices on drinks and pool. Wanna go with me?”. Suddenly it felt hot in the room. Ruben was asking her to hang out and there was no one else involved in this outing. It was a date, well that’s what Cris assumed Ruben’s intentions were.

She stared into his expectant gaze trying to come up with some way out but then her eyes settled to the bruise on his jaw and the bandage on his eyebrow and suddenly she felt bad for even trying to weasel her way out. The guy had gotten jumped because of her, the least she could do was hang out. It was a one time thing, it wouldn’t hurt. 

“ Sure why not”.


	6. Chapter 6

C: So what do you guys think?  
A: *Eye Emoji*  
N: Well...  
V: Girl!!!  
E: Cris are you dumb!? Ruben asked you on a date!  
C: He didn’t really say it tho...  
V: Omg Cris! It’s a date  
N: What you gonna wear?  
C: I was thinking something casual  
E: Bitch what!? Noooooo something sexy  
V: Yeah definitely something sexy *winky face*

“ You want me to pause the film? It’s no problem” Joana’s voice rung out from Cris’s side, brown eyes looking up at Cris expectantly. “ Ah no it’s nothing just my stupid friends” Cris placed her phone down and Joana hummed before pressing play on the laptop again. The two had been alone in Cris’s room for a half an hour and if Joana would have asked her any question about the movie, Cris would be fucked. She was way to preoccupied on Joana’s presence, the body heat from the close proximity and the way her facial expressions were so animated while she watched the film.

Every so often Joana would glance up at Cris causing her cheeks to redden in embarrassment from being caught starring and Cris was just glad Joana didn’t say anything, instead chucking lightly and returning her gaze to the screen as if nothing happened and that’s what it had felt like since she had arrived. There was no teasing tone in Joana’s voice like the other day in class, her eyes didn’t stare into Cris’s with that lust filled hunger from the club...just a few small grins every time their eyes found each other but that was it and at times like this she found it hard to place Joana. 

Or maybe she was just reading too much into it.

“ So what do you think we should do for our project?” Joana questioned pausing the film momentarily and shifting her weight so that she was now in a seated position similar to Cris’s.  
“ Well Pedro’s one for exaggeration so maybe a letter? Give it that old style writing and stuff” Cris answered with slight hesitation, blue eyes glancing over to Joana.She was certain that her idea was foolish and Cris was hardly good when it came to school. She expected Joana to laugh or quickly shut her idea down. What she hadn’t prepared for was the complete opposite.

“ That’s a great idea actually”  
“ Wait...really?”   
Joana nodded her head “Yeah, I mean we can burn the edges and everything. Pedro will definitely give us a good grade”. It honestly felt good to have someone actually think her idea was worth something, that she wasn’t just a hopeless case when it came to school and despite what her mother thought...Cris actually wanted to do better. “ See deep down I’m actually smart but don’t tell anyone okay” Cris teased and Joana laughed raising her hand slightly. “ Secrets safe with me”.

The faint laughter between the two filled the room but once it died down Cris was hyper aware of the closeness between them, how Joana had shifted closer ever so slightly and their faces were now a few inches apart. Joana’s brown eyes were looking into Cris’s intensely and under her stare Cris found it hard to breath,almost similar to the night at the club. Joana’s eyes dropped down to Cris’s lips, tongue darting out to wet her bottom lip and Cris’s eyes followed the movement.

Joana moved in dangerously slow like she was giving Cris all the reason in the world to pull away, to tell her to stop... and maybe Cris should have. Instead she stayed rooted where she was afraid of how she felt. Afraid that this, whatever it was between them would become more than a one time thing. Afraid that if she moved Joana might not follow through and Cris would end up disappointed. She could feel Joana’s breath against her lips and Cris tilted her head up slightly to meet Joana’s-

“ Cris Im heading out do you need any tampons from the store?”.

And just like that the moment was over.

The two separated quick. Cris’s back pressed against the wall and Joana let out a breath, fingers running through her raven hair. “ No mom!” Cris shouted and then rolled her eyes as her cheeks reddened and even more so when she heard Joana’s laughter. “ Sorry my mom’s not discrete at all”. Joana smirked shaking her head. “ It’s totally fine don’t worry”. The sudden vibration from Cris’s side caused her to jump slightly before reaching for her phone and seeing the recent message flashed across it. Eva: Party tomorrow night!! Meet you there at 10! It was almost humorous how Eva assumed she was going. And she was.

The sudden dip in the bed made Cris look up to see Joana gathering her things and putting on her shoes. Cris frowned. “ Are you leaving?”. Joana nodded her head and gave Cris an apologetic look.“ Yeah I have to head home”  
“ What about the movie?”   
“ I already seen it” Joana reached her her jacket and Cris fought back the look of disappointment on her face. 

“ Are you gonna go?” Cris looked back up to see Joana eyeing her expectantly. “ Uh to what”  
“ The party, you going?”  
“ Yeah...are you?” Cris tried not to sound desperate in her asking because it really didn’t matter if Joana went or not, at least that’s what she told herself. When Joana smiled Cris could’ve swore her heart skipped a beat and Cris realized that it was the first time she’d seen Joana smile. Sure she’d smirk or grin but the look on her face now was something Cris wanted to capture. Absolutely beautiful.

“ If you go I’ll go”.


	7. Chapter 7

She wasn’t in class today. 

Cris had woken up earlier than her alarm with the newfound urge to make it to school and more importantly Pedro’s class. Cris had never actually taken incentive to show up on time or early for any classes and suddenly she had found herself looking forward to getting to school on time. Cris had ignored Amira’s look of surprise when she had knocked on her door and quickly deflected her best friends questioning as to why she was early with an excuse that there was a test she needed to make up. She spent the bare minimum with the rest of her friends before checking the time on her phone and slipping away and into the school building hoping to run into one person in particular. But she didn’t show and instead Cris was reminded of her absence every time she glanced over at the seat beside her.

“ Let’s skip last period” Eva nudged Cris who had been absentmindedly tapping her pen along the corner of her desk while watching Eloy and his partner in crime Adrian beam another paper ball across the room at one another despite Mr. Amedo chastising them not even ten minutes prior. “ And go where?” Cris questioned meeting her friends gaze. In all honestly Cris has been spaced out all day and she had no clue why. “ The mall. I need an outfit for the party this weekend and I won’t be able to get it any other time this week”.  
“ What about the girls? Are they coming too?” Eva pouted and shook her head. “ Nah girl. They all cherish class too much. Viri was going to go until she found out she had a quiz”.  
Cris hummed in response and then grabbed her bag as she glanced at the clock. “ Okay fine. I might find something I like there too”.  
—————  
For the past hour and a half Cris let Eva drag her through various stores in determination to find that outfit. Something that would drawn people’s attention but Cris knew the only attention she was looking for was Jorge’s. Of course Eva denied it every time Cris mentioned him so she settled for playing into her friends denial. “ Eva are you sure this is the last store”. Cris groaned all while her friend lightly bounced up and down on the heel of her shoes. “ Yes yes I promise! Besides you don’t have that much stuff”  
“ It’s fine, I didn’t really see anything, besides we’re supposed to be meeting up with the girls”.  
“ Relax Cris. One more store and then we’re out of here”. Eva enthused while dragging a reluctant Cris through the “last” store.

Like clockwork Eva gushed about a cute shirt and ran off in the direction leaving Cris to watch in amusement as her friend somehow managed to speed off while carrying that many bags. Cris walked over to a rack of clothes, her fingers moving through the various shirts and pants hung up while she debated on how she wanted to look for the party. Outfits were never a problem when it came to Cris. She loved looking good as much as the next girl did but now she was trying to stand out the same way Eva was. Because she too was hoping to gain the attention of someone.

Finding an outfit for the bar with Ruben has taken Cris all but twenty minutes to find tops, much to Eva’s pouty look when Cris settled for something casual instead of the slightly revealing outfit Eva had picked out. Cris really didn’t see why her friends insisted on the seductive look when she was almost certain Ruben wouldn’t mind what outfit she wore as long as she showed up.

“ That shirt would look incredible on you”.

Cris abruptly turned from the clothing rack towards the newfound voice only to lock eyes with Joana’s brown ones. She was currently sporting the stores work shirt with white sleeves underneath, her hair was down this time, a few pieces tucked behind her ear and she was leaning against the nearby rack with a lazy smile on her face.

Joana worked here?

Cris opened her mouth but no words seemed to come out and instead she looked down at the shirt that was in her hand. Joana seemed to follow the movement before stepping forward and brushing her fingers against Cris’s briefly while reaching for the hem of the shirt and the contact made Cris bite down on her bottom lip. Joana eyed Cris with that same intense gaze from the other day at her place but instead of leaning forward, Joana reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind Cris’s ear. 

“ Do you need help with anything else?”.


	8. Chapter 8

“ Do you need help with anything else?”.

Cris honestly wanted to say yes. She wanted to tell Joana that she could help her with with her breathing that seemed so hard to do when she was around. To help her with her heart rate that fluctuated whenever Joana came into her personal space or looked at her the way she was now. Of course more than anything Cris wanted to say all those things but instead she said this.

“ Why weren’t you in class today?”.

The question came out like word vomit and she watched as Joana averted her gaze to the two costumers that walked in and her fingers played with the purple tips of her hair before sliding back down to her side. “ I wasn’t feeling well this morning” she shrugged before quickly changing the subject back to the shirt. “ So is this what you plan on wearing to the party this weekend?”. Cris looked down at the material before glancing over at Eva who was still on the other side of the store looking through clothes. 

“ I was thinking about it” Cris trailed off as she watched Joana pull her hair back into a quick pony tail and then nod her head. She noticed the half a step that Joana took towards her and Cris tilted her head slightly. “ I assume you do this often” Cris made a gesture back and forth between them. “ Invade people’s personal space I mean”. Joana smiled as she leaned down slightly so that her lips were almost against Cris’s ear which caused the blonde to shudder. “ Only with the ones I like”.

Oh.

She was flirting and Cris felt her cheeks redden, something they did often and Joana seemed to notice and reached out and lightly squeezed one cheek. “ Cute”. At this point Cris was a sputtering mess any it was hard to get any kind of witty comeback out when their bodies were this close and Joana eyes constantly dropping to her lips...

Cris’s eyes kept darting over to Eva who was still on the other side of the store nose deep in clothes and way too preoccupied in her own little world. The panic was kicking in again. That feeling in the pit of her stomach that made her breath pick up and that need for some sort of anchor. “ I um-“ Cris started but her words died out on deaf lips. Joana’s mouth pressed against Cris’s without a care in the world, like they weren’t in her place of work and her friend wasn’t twelve feet away. Anyone could see them and yet despite all that... there was a sense of calmness that raced through Cris. Like all that deep rooted fear withered away when she was lost in Joana’s touch.

Cris felt fingertips rest on her waist pulling her slightly into Joana’s frame and it was her touch, the closeness of her body and the way her lips guided her own that made her head dizzy, that made her crave more. But it wasn’t the time nor the place.  
“ Idiot” Cris lightly pushed Joana back and quickly looked around. “ What are you- we can’t-“  
“ Relax no one saw” Joana breathed out with her gaze taking Cris in and a lazy smile on her lips. Joana didn’t seem to mind the distance and instead shoved her hands into the pockets of her dark jeans and rocked back and forth slightly on the heels of her shoe. “ Well I’ll let you get back to it then”. Cris watched Joana walk away and over to arriving costumers before Eva’s sudden appearance almost made Her jump out of her own skin.

“ You good?” Eva questioned from Cris’s side and then looked down at the shirt in her hand. “ It’s cute- you sure you’re good? Your face is red”.  
“ Yeah no it does that randomly I’m fine”. Eva didn’t push the issue and instead began showing Cris all the clothes she picked out while walking to check out and Cris was just glad her friend hadn’t seen what has happened just moments earlier. Her eyes trained straight ahead as she focused on Eva’s conversation and ignoring the fact that Joana was a few feet away and for the second time she was not only realizing that their little moment wasn’t a one time thing....

But that she didn’t want it to be.


	9. Chapter 9

The party was in full swing by the time the girls had arrived and Cris had been long drunk since before then. Amira had warned her about going too hard for the pre game but she just wanted to numb out all the other emotions. For the last two days her and Joana has been inconsistent at best after the kiss at the mall. It went something like this: Cris would pay Joana no mind when she was around her friends and Joana didn’t bother to look up from her skater friends outside the school building. 

In class they’d brush against one another too much to be just an accident and exchange hungry stares across the cafeteria. Someone would make an excuse to disappear and like clockwork the other would follow. They’d kiss each other like it was their last and it would always end with Cris pushing Joana off like she touched fire and disappeared back to her friends like nothing happened. 

Earlier today had been different.

Joana didn’t glance at Cris outside of school grounds, she didn’t brush her fingers against Cris “accidentally” nor did she look for her across the room and instead ignored her completely. There was no sneaking away, no soft touches or faint words lost on the tip of Cris’s lips. Nothing. Cris graciously took a red cup from Nora and got lost in the music and the warmth from the liquid that she downed. She ignored Amira’s look of concern and how her frown was much more of a pout than anything else. More importantly she ignored Joana who was currently talking to Eloy and some of his friends.

In the next hour it seemed like the entire school was there, bodies grinding against another to the music, playful shouts and hoots along with the usual teen romance off to the sides. Cris had joined Eva who was all too gone off the dark liquor in her cup but all too content with Jorge who was dancing with her and Cris had pulled an all to willing Hugo with her into the crowded bodies.

She let Hugo place his hands on her waist as the music played and smiled into the feeling of the liquor and that she had finally stopped thinking about earlier. Enjoying her friends and the party life she was accustomed to. It didn’t last long though. Cris had been leaning against a stone pillar listening to Viri debate if she should go over and talk to Alejandro while Nora insisted she should but Cris saw her eyes told a different story. 

Out the corner of her eye she saw Joana talking to some auburn haired female with a smile on her face then the girl leaned into Joana’s touch.She looked all too happy and when Joana leaned down to whisper something in her ear and Cris abruptly looked away. She was going to be sick. “ Cris are you okay girl?” Viri’s hand was slowly rubbing Cris’s back but the combination of the somewhat soothing motions and seeing Joana with that girl only made her stomach upset even more. “ Yeah I’ll be right back”.

Cris pushed through the bodies like she couldn’t get away fast enough and once she felt the cool night air against her cheeks the sudden urge to vomit was gone. Her head rested against the wall eyes closed as she took long and deep breaths. It’s just fun that’s all it is, fun...  
“ Hey”. Her eyes opened to see Joana walking over and Cris said nothing instead focusing on the town lights. “ I see you wore the shirt... looks good”. At the comment Cris’s blue eyes finally locked into Joana but she really didn’t feel like talking.

She had no idea what she was doing but her legs started moving before her brain could keep up and Cris leaned up and captured Joana’s lips much to her surprise. She felt Joana leaning into it but only for a moment before breaking the kiss and shaking her head “ Cris don’t” she muttered and sucked in a sharp breath when Cris’s lips fell to her jaw. It was really stupid and Cris knew it. They were right outside the party, people were stumbling around and here Cris was pressing Joana against the stone wall.

“ Cris” Joana breathed out when she finally seemed to find strength to pull away and her lips formed into a frown and Cris matched the features. “ What?”  
“ We can’t” Joana bit out and took a few steps back like she couldn’t stand to be close. “ Cant what?” Cris let out an exasperated sigh. “ It’s just a kiss”. At the comment Joana made a look , one of disbelief and then scoffed. “ I don’t get you Cris” there was this underling anger in her voice and Cris could sense the conversation going anywhere from what she wanted to.

She wanted to kiss Joana, to just be lost in her touch but instead they were in the cold and Cris was drunk and everything was not okay.   
“ You say it’s just a kiss and yet here we are” Joana made a motion to where they were standing and now Cris was getting defensive. “ Is this because of that girl you were all over in there?”

Joana ran a hand over her face in frustration and simply eyed Cris with a look that said she was over the conversation. “ At least she’s not afraid to show affection and not hiding around. At least she doesn’t push me away like she can’t get away fast enough”. 

Fuck.

Cris’s mouth opened to try and defend herself and why she couldn’t just up and kiss her in front everyone. Because she wasn’t bold like Joana, because she was afraid of herself and what it meant with wanting Joana like that.“ Fuck you” was what came out of her mouth as Joana walked away but the raven haired girl said nothing and kept walking. Her body sunk down to the ground and Cris buried her face in her hands until she felt arms wrap around her. She didn’t even need to look up to know it was Amira. 

She didn’t ask any questions but tucked the strands up hair behind Cris’s ear and kissed the top of her head and Cris was grateful for that. All Cris needed was the confines of her room and her bed to sleep off the alcohol and the feeling of guilt riddled in the pit of her stomach.


	10. Chapter 10

“ Perfect” Nora stepped back with a content smile on her face and scanning her work while Cris looked at her reflection through the mirror. She had spent most of the day curled up in bed ignoring the rest of the world while her hangover subsided and then sunk even further into the bed when she replayed last nights events with Joana. Cris was going to text Rubèn and tell him that she wasn’t feeling it and that they could reschedule but Amira came over sometime mid day and practically dragged Cris out of bed saying she would be an ass if she stood him up after everything.

And she was right.

The rest of the girls had all came over an hour later with Eva practically grinning ear to ear with her heavy details of her and Jorge after the party. Viri gushed about her little conversation with Alejandro and Amira and Nora simply listened while Amira went through Cris’s closet.  
“ Girl you better tell us what happens with Ruben” Viri grinned and raised her eyebrow with insinuation and Cris playfully shoved the girl while standing up to adjust her crop top. “ I will”. Cris smiled but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. 

Amira was looking at her with the same look she had been giving her since after the party last week. Like she was trying to piece Cris together... piece whatever was going on with her especially after last night. Amira knew Cris was hiding something but seventeen years of friendship did that. It seemed now more often than not Cris couldn’t meet her friends gaze but what was worse? Amira noticed that too and it made Cris feel like a shitty friend.

What she did know how to do well was play happy. Cris teased Eva and asked her questions and wrapped her arms around Amira poking her until she smiled and cracked jokes with the rest girls as laughter filled the room until her phone vibrated and Ruben messaged her that he was downstairs.  
————  
“ I didn’t know you were good at pool” Rubèn grinned leaning his weight along the pool stick and Cris shot another one of her solids into the corner pocket. “ Having three older brothers will do that to you.. and teach you a mean right hook”. Ruben’s head tilted back as he laughed.  
“ Remind me not to get on your bad side”.

Ruben wasn’t some asshole who made sexual jokes or gave off that bravado like he was some hot shit and it was nice. Cris found it hard to find anything wrong with him and that alone made her felt even worse about wanting to stand him up in the first place.  
“ Hey I’m going to grab us drinks. Try not to cheat while I’m gone”  
Cris scoffed. “ Okay I won’t bruise your ego anymore than it already is”.

It wasn’t till he left that Cris took her phone out and read the group chat and it was just as she thought. A million questions about the date and Eva and Viri’s sexual jokes. The small bell from the bar door rung and Cris lifted her head out of curiosity but she really wish she hadn’t. Joana had walked in with Eloy who’s arm was all but comfortably wrapped her shoulder a smirk ghosting on his lips as he greeted a few guys and then walked over to the other free pool table. 

Joana didn’t look over once.

But neither did Cris.

“Beer?” Rubèn questioned holding out the glass and Cris snapped out of her thoughts giving him a small smile. “ Ready to finish loosing?”. Their game had gone quick and Ruben sighed looking at the rest of his striped balls in defeat. “ Best out of three?”  
“ Yo Soto” Eloy shouted and Cris looked over to see him making a gesture to his pool table. “ How about a friendly game? Me and Jo versus you and your boyfriend”. It was then Cris felt Joana’s eyes on her.  
“ He’s not-“  
“ Deal” Ruben’s voice rung out beside Cris and her eyes squinted. What the hell was going on?

Eloy rubbed his hands together and adjusted the hat on his head so it was backwards with pieces of his hair sticking out through the cap. “ Perfect. Looser buys drinks”. Ruben clasped Eloy’s hand with playful banter and Cris stood there confused as to how this was all happening. When she glanced up at Rubèn with a look he simply shrugged his shoulders like he hadn’t pretty much said he was her boyfriend. “ Just a harmless game”. She knew he was talking about the actual pool game and him not denying Eloy’s statement.

It had been a white lie and as much as Cris wasn’t fond of the idea that now Joana and Eloy thought they were a thing, she hadn’t been vocal about clearing the mistake either. She didn’t have to look over to tell Joana was looking at her now and Cris let out a sigh. A harmless game? It was anything but that.


	11. Chapter 11

Cris was heated. She had scuffed three times on her turns and it was costing them the game. Out of the three of them Eloy was her only real competition and it wasn’t helping that Cris’s eyes wandered to Joana whenever she was about to take a shot and it also didn’t help that she damn near broke her stick from squeezing so hard after Eloy leaned down and kissed Joana. Twice. Rubèn was too busy having the time of his life with Eloy and their back and forth banter to notice a seething Cris beside him.

It was hard not to roll her eyes when Eloy stepped behind Joana to help position the stick and at that point as competitive as Cris was,she didn’t care who won or lost if it meant she didn’t have to watch Eloy and Joana anymore than she already had. “Cris”  
“Hmm?”  
“You good, I can practically hear you grinding your teeth” Rubèn smirked amused and Cris nodded her head because Rubèn probably assumed that Cris was annoyed about the current outcome of the game.Joana’s gaze was back on hers now and she had that same leveled expression that didn’t give much of anything away but it was almost like she was waiting for Cris to say something.

The entire night had been tense. At first it seemed like Joana didn’t care. She’d all but ignore Cris throughout most of the game and then there were times like now when their eyes would lock and it seemed like the tension would build back up again. Like it never left. Neither one of them would look away until either Ruben cracked a joke or Eloy made some comment that drew them both out of whatever little world they had been in and the moment was gone. Joana was back to focusing solely on the game, small smiles at Rubèn when he attempted to distract her or leaning into Eloy’s touch and Cris was back to focusing on trying to win for both her and Ruben. Back to smiling into his brown eyes and partaking in the casual banter. It was confusing to say the least. 

In the end Cris and Ruben had lost the game, Ruben bought the drinks like promised and Cris pushed through the bars front doors like she couldn’t get out of there fast enough. The car ride back Rubèn made conversation and Cris attempted to mentally check in long enough so he didn’t notice she was out of it.  
“ What was that about?” Rubèn had just pulled up in front of Cris’s house and despite the moment being long gone, she couldn’t help but ask why Rubèn hadn’t corrected Eloy during their game of pool and she knew that if nothing was said he might get the wrong idea.  
“ What was what about?”  
“ You know... what Eloy said earlier, you didn’t say we weren’t ya know...”  
“ Dating”  
“ Yeah”. Cris shifted slightly in her seat as she watched Rubèn eye her for a moment before rubbing the back of his neck. “ I should’ve corrected him but I don’t know... it’s not like I minded I mean I would ya know... be your boyfriend if that’s what you wanted too”.

The statement sounded more like a question at the end like Rubèn was waiting for Cris to speak up and say that she really didn’t mind but Cris didn’t really understand why he wanted her out of all people. Ruben was the kind of guy who could have almost any girl and yet he liked her...his best friends little sister- irresponsible one at that. Ruben had this hopeful look on his face and Cris casted her gaze down to her lap because despite him being nice and sticking up for her at the party her mind went back to the bathroom with Joana and despite having fun playing pool tonight, Cris couldn’t stop looking at Joana the entire time. 

Even now she was alone with a cute guy that had admitted to liking her and all Cris could think about was Eloy and Joana throughout the night and how despite Cris kept telling herself she didn’t care she also couldn’t ignore the tightness in her chest whenever Eloy went to kiss Joana or the way her heart still skipped a beat whenever Joana’s brown eyes would abruptly look over to her.

“ I honestly don’t know what I want”. 

 

It wasn’t a lie and it wasn’t the whole truth but she couldn’t bring herself to simply tell Rubèn she wasn’t really interested either. He was sweet and maybe there was something...maybe she’d give him a chance. Leaning over Cris kissed Ruben’s cheek and watched the smile form on his face before climbing out the car and jogging up the steps to her house.  
“ I had fun Cris, text me sometime so we can hang out again”. She nodded her head and forced a smile before walking through the front door of her house and pressing her back against it once it closed. Cris hadn’t really planned on her and Ruben hanging out but she also knew that she couldn’t keep feeling the way she did whenever she saw Joana.

Maybe it was just the distraction she needed.


	12. Chapter 12

“ So you really not coming?” Nora questioned with a small frown and Cris nodded her head. “ Yeah I honestly don’t feel like hearing Pedro’s over enthused lecture today and I still need to find something for Viri. Come with?” Cris batted her eyelashes at Eva who shook her head.  
“ Nah girl I can’t today I have a test and I missed the study guide because we skipped last week...are you sure you wanna go alone?”.

Cris bit down on her bottom lip as her eyes shifted to Amira who hadn’t said a word but simply eyed her with a sad expression and then over her shoulder right as Joana passed by. She had headphones in her ear, skateboard tucked underneath one arm with her phone in the other and Cris watched as she jogged up the steps with ease, completely zoned out to the world around her.

“ Yeah I’m sure”.

Amira sighed grabbing her bag from the lower steps and turned to head up the steps after the rest of the girls when Cris grabbed her arm. “ Hey, meet you by the shop to walk home together?” It was probably the first time in awhile Cris saw Amira smile towards her and she didn’t realize how much she missed it until now. “ Yeah sure”.

In a search for the perfect gift for Viri, Cris ended up wandering through town while scrolling through Instagram at photos she was tagged in up until she found one with Joana in it. It has been a group photo where everyone was too drunk to really pay attention or care. Eloy was leaning against a car with his friend and Joana was beside him looking off at someone who wasn’t in frame while her arm was draped around the girl Cris had seen her with at the party.

“ Yo watch out!”.

There was a rush of wind a whizzing sound and then suddenly Cris landed on her ass with a thud. She winced as she made an attempt to get up when a hand appeared in her face and Cris looked up to see a girl standing over her with an apologetic smile. With the light shining in her face Cris squinted her eyes accepting the hand as she was pulled off the ground before dusting off her pants.  
“ Your phone fell but it’s not broken or anything”  
“ Thank you, sorry I was’t paying attention” Cris took her phone as she slipped it into her back pocket.  
“ Ya know I kinda thought you had a death wish or something” the soft laughter filled Cris’s ears who had finally taken a step back to actually take in the girl in front of her. She was in a pair of worn vans and ripped shorts, a long sleeve t rolled up exposing the ink on her forearm and her Auburn hair was pulled into a messy bun so Cris able to see the small tattoo underneath her ear as well as the three piercings in both her ears.

Auburn hair...

The realization crossed Cris features as she watched the girl bend down to pick up her board. “ You were at the party last weekend right?”  
“ Um yeah, Cris”  
“ Lucia but you can call me Lu if ya want“

Cris gave a small smile as she shook Lucia’s hand and watched as the girl eyed Chris curiously for a moment and then looked over her shoulder. “ I wouldn’t recommend what your wearing go skate in but-  
“ Oh no I don’t skate I just um wandered here” Cris forced herself to stop talking as she watched a grin form on Lucia’s face who hummed and nodded her head.  
“ You should try sometime it’s fun but no pressure”. Cris simply nodded her eyes glancing over at the boys currently attempting to grid a rail.  
“ Well I better head back. Try not to get knocked down again” Lucia dropped her board and went to skate away when Cris spoke.  
“ Do you know Joana?”

She really shouldn’t have asked.

Cris watched Lucia look at her curiously before rubbing the back of her neck. “ Yeah met her last summer. Shreds like crazy why?”.  
“ Oh no reason just wondering”.  
Lucia gave a look like she didn’t believe Cris but there was also a small smile on her lips like she was remembering something that Cris had no knowledge to.  
“ She’s a pretty dope friend” The way Lucia said friend made it seem like she knew exactly why Cris was asking and she wanted to crawl into a hole.

Her mouth opened up to clarify that she wasn’t asking for that reason even though she had but Lucia winked and pushed off on her board. “ Hope to see you again Cris”. She disappeared down the small hill and across the street to the gate of the skate park and Cris’s feet were simply rooted in place until the sudden vibration of her phone broke her trace and she looked down at the message.

Fuck Amira.


	13. Chapter 13

Cris had found Amira sitting on the middle steps of the shop with her head down and fingers tapping away at a game on her phone until the approaching footsteps caused her to look up. “ Sorry I’m late” Cris spoke through short huffs and Amira stood up shaking her head. “ It’s fine I’ve only been here five minutes”. There really wasn’t a need to explain considering Amira was super chill and knew Cris was always late but the sudden tension between the two over the last two weeks was evident.

“ You know you don’t have to” Amira finally spoke up breaking the silence between them and Cris eyed her friend.  
“ Don’t have to what?”.  
“ You know, the whole Rubèn thing. I know the girls want you guys together but if your not feeling him that’s fine too”. Amira seemed to always know even without saying much and Cris was glad that there was at least one person who didn’t expect anything from her in regards to Rubèn and Cris felt like she could kind of breathe a little. “ Thanks” Cris leaned her body into Amira who repeated the same motion with a small laugh as they stopped just short of her house.  
“ Are you sure your okay Cris?”  
“ Yeah I’m fine” She gave her best smile, one that Amira barley matched with a small sigh.  
“ Yeah Okay Cris. See ya in school”. It was clear that Amira was annoyed with Cris’s behavior but instead of calling out after her friend, Cris watched Amira jog up the steps before continuing down the street to her own house.

And how she wished she hadn’t.

The moment Cris walked through the door she was greeted by her mother currently leaning against the living room chair with her arms folded and eyes narrowed in Cris’s direction. “ Your teacher called”  
“ Look I know-“  
“ No Cristiana it’s become apparent that you don’t care about school and you sure don’t listen to me so maybe it’s time you look for a part time job or something”.  
Cris blinked twice waiting for her brother to come out and music to play.

“ You’re joking”  
“ No Cris I’m not and until you show me that your serious there’s no more parties and no more staying out late, just school and home”. Her mother eyed her with narrowed eyes like her mind was made up and Cris bit down the inside of her cheek to keep from making things worse.  
“ Look I left three numbers on the counter either you call them and show me your willing take some responsibility or don’t, it’s your choice”.

Cris hated these piss poor ultimatums, like her mom was really giving her some sort of choice when in reality she knew Cris wouldn’t last long being cooped up in the house with her. “ Whatever” Cris huffed moving past her mom to snatch the small slip of paper on the table and then closed the door. If it had been anyone of her other teachers they wouldn’t have bothered but Pedro was one of those teachers that went above and beyond no matter how annoying.

C: I’m on lock down  
E: What? Why!?  
N: Crissssss  
C: Pedro called home and my mom flipped.  
V: Dude Alejandro’s throwing a party and everyone is invited!  
C: She said either I get a part time job or stay on punishment...  
A: Just take the job  
E: Cris I need you! Your my drinking partner. Just say your gonna do it so you can come!

It wasn’t much of a surprise that her friends wanted her to find a job at the sake of her freedom considering it wasn’t a foreign factor to them. Her finger trailed down the three numbers before dialing them up. The first one was a grocery store owner who wanted too many hours than Cris was able to, the second one simply didn’t answer and by the third call Cris figured it was pointless until she was met with a warm voice.  
“ Hi! You must be Cristina, your mother called me earlier”  
“ Um yes”  
“ Great well I just need help cleaning out a storage room in my house so I can put up some art work”  
“ Okay um how many days do you need me?”  
“ Oh nothing crazy I know your a student and I have a kid in school as well. How about you come over Saturday evening and we can sort out the rest? I’ll send you the address”.  
“ Okay thanks”. When the phone conversation ended Cris dropped her head down into the pillow with a defeated huff. The job seemed easy enough and the woman seemed sweet so there was no real complaint as long as it meant she didn’t have to deal with her mother, because she was going to that party.


	14. Chapter 14

It had been three days. Three days of walking on egg shells around her mother while maintaining the good girl act until Friday hit. Her fingers ran through her long blonde hair as she checked her outfit in the mirror for what seemed like the hundredth time before the chiming of her phone gave her the reminder that it was time to go. Cris had been planning how to finesse her mother into letting her go to the party since her mom started the punishment, even going extreme lengths in being extra nice by laughing at her bland jokes.

What she hadn’t expected was to see her father in the living room with his gaze focused solely on the soccer game on the screen. “ Dad is mom here?”  
“ No she stepped out to get groceries”. Oh how the relief poured in because now it would that much easier in getting her way. Perks of being a daddy’s girl and the baby of the family.  
“ Dad you know there’s this party today” Cris dragged out as she watched her father glance at her.  
“ Didn’t your mother ground you?”  
“ Well yes but only until I got a part time job which I did soooo can I go?” she batted her eyes watching her dad sigh.  
“ Well if you did what your mom asked I don’t see why not-“ his words died out with Cris wrapping her arms around him in a excited hug to which he reciprocated.  
“ Stay our of trouble Cristina and come back at a reasonable time or I won’t be able to help you next time”. Cris all but nodded before practically jogging out the house to avoid running into her mother.

Cris knew that by Alejandro throwing the party there would be bodies but damn was there a good amount of people by the time she showed up. Nora and Viri were in conversation with the party thrower while Cris watched Eva drop her conversation with some guy to run over to her.  
“ Girl I thought you weren’t coming”  
“ My dad let me out thank god” Eva hummed before handing Cris the cup that was in her hand and then giving her a grin to which Cris eyed her confused. “ What?”  
“ Your boy is here” Eva made a motion towards Rubèn who had been chatting with her brother along the wall. The moment their eyes locked Rubèn flashed a wide smile and pushed off the wall whispering something to Dani who smiled at the sight of Cris.

Dani teased Cris briefly before Eva asked him to get her a drink and not so subtly glanced over at Cris and mouthing a ‘ your welcome’ as she slipped away leaving Cris and Rubèn alone. There was a minute of faint smiles between the two and Cris took a sip out the cup. “ I’m surprised you’re here” her eyes glanced around before abruptly stopping on a pair of brown ones from across the room. Joana was leaning against the railing beside Eloy with a cup in one hand while the other was shoved in the pocket of her jean jacket.

As the party continued on Cris pretended to not see Joana and how happy she seemed beside Eloy all while trying to maintain interest with Ruben which seemed to work with each shot she took and soon he was all she focused on. Her brother had left sometime around the time Eva got too drunk and whispered in Cris’s ear that she was leaving and Ruben had been flirting with her consistently. But then her eyes were wandering over to the same place she knew they should’t have and Joana’s gaze was on her, though now she looked irritated.

Good.

Ruben had been saying something but honestly Cris didn’t care, she just wanted to kiss him because why not and also because she knew Joana was watching. Ruben’s tasted slightly of liquor as their mouths moved in a rhythmic motion until Cris broke the kiss and looked over to see Joana pull Eloy by his shirt and lean up to kiss him.

The sight made Cris’s stomach knot up and the moment Joana pulled away Cris was pulling a more than willing Rubèn back to her lips. Her eyes slowly opened watching as Joana kissed Eloy again and it was almost like they were competing but for what she didn’t know, the only thing Cris knew was that Ruben’s lips didn’t feel as soft as Joana’s and she wondered if kissing Eloy felt better than kissing her and suddenly she didn’t want to be at the party anymore.

She needed a distraction from her thoughts and Ruben’s body pressed against her in a heated make out session was perfect. At least drunk her thought so. Cris had dragged Rubèn along through the bodies and Joana’s heated gaze to someplace secluded which ended up being the bathroom. Cris tried to get lost on Ruben’s hands traveling her body and slipping underneath her shirt, his lips planting kisses along her neck but then he stopped and she couldn’t figure out why.

“ Cris are you okay”  
“ Yeah” she tilted her head upward to claim Ruben’s lips again only for him to pull away again.  
“ Then why are you crying?”. His gaze was no longer lust filled but that of concern and when Cris brought her fingers up to her cheek it was in fact wet, the tightness had worked its way up to her chest and the room suddenly felt small.  
“ Cris” Ruben’s voice was soft and it made it that much harder to look him in the eyes.  
“ I’m sorry I- I don’t know what’s wrong with me” her voice came out shaky, hands moved up her face and through slightly tousled hair. “ I- I like you but I-“. Ruben placed a hand on Cris’s shoulder.  
“ It’s okay. If I made you uncomfortable-”  
“ No it’s not you it’s just your not-“ her voice broke off and her head dropped to her feet because it was too much to look at Rubèn.  
“ Not what?”

Cris wanted to say Joana, she wanted to up and say that Rubèn didn’t make her feel the way one girl made her feel, not even close but instead she shook her head and said “ I’m sorry” before pushing out the bathroom door and away from the party chatter behind her. Maybe it was because of the sudden mood killer but Cris didn’t realize it was that chilly until halfway towards her destination.

She had been lightly pacing back and forth when the sound the of door opening and Amira looking Cris over in concern for all of two seconds before meeting Cris halfway into a tight embrace. Amira didn’t ask questions, she didn’t look at Cris with judgment but pure concern for her friend and it made the tears fall even more.  
“ I know it’s late but I had to see you”  
“ Cris it’s fine really”  
“ I’m sorry Amira”  
“ What for?”  
“ I’ve been a shitty friend and we both know it”. There was a pause before Cris felt Amira’s hand rubbing her back. “ Cris it’s fine-“  
“ It’s not your my best friend and I’ve been afraid to tell you...”.

Cris wasn’t sure if the nauseating feeling was due to the alcohol or fear but she watched Amira eye her with an unreadable expression and it was now or never. “ There’s this girl and we kissed the night of Hugo’s party and we’ve been... I don’t know really but I like her a lot and I was afraid of telling you because I thought you wouldn’t want to be my friend anymore”. Everything spilled out like word vomit and then after a few beats Amira stifled a laugh.

“ Your seriously laughing”  
“ Cris.. why wouldn’t I be your friend?”  
“ Because your beliefs, they don’t like gays right?” she played nervously with her fingers until Amira took her hand into hers. “ Cris your my best friend. No ones is going to tell me that I can’t be friend with you”.  
“ Really?”  
“ Yes dummy” Amira nudged Cris before letting out a sigh of relief. “ And here I was thinking you didn’t want to be friends”.  
“ What!? No never. Best friends till the end”. Cris kissed Amira’s head.

It felt like a wave of relief came off of Cris’s shoulders after weeks of hiding a part of her life from her best friend and knowing know that it didn’t change a thing. She relaxed into Amira’s hold as they sat on the steps of her house in the cool night air. After awhile of Amira playing in Cris’s hair and asking questions about the party she leaned down with a smirk playing on her lips.

“ So tell me about her”.


	15. Chapter 15

Cris wasn’t really sure what to expect meeting the woman for her job but it honestly wasn’t bad at all. Mrs. B or Maria as she liked to be called greeted Cris at the door with a warm smile and even pulled her in for a short hug. Cris was shocked to say the least. Maria was a petite woman in her early forties who looked younger than her actual age, mid length wavy raven like hair and warm brown eyes that matched her inviting smile and suddenly taking the job didn’t sound too bad at all.

The tour of Maria’s home was short being that the room Cris had been tasked with was adjacent to the dining room. The room was filled with a bunch of boxes and old objects that filled what would have been a modest living space. There was two long windows that cast in most of the light and Maria leaned against the doorway letting Cris looked around. Maria had mentioned wanting the space freed for putting up some amazing artwork from an artist dear to her but before she could continue her phone went off and Cris watched as Maria briefly stepped out the room.

As Cris waited she thought back to the party and how she’d abruptly left Rubèn after almost confessing her true feelings to him and then finally telling Amira about Joana. Amira had spent about a good thirty minutes on the steps as she listened to Cris talk about Joana and how they’d met, what happed at the party that night she’d found her, and pretty much why she’d disappeared on and off again throughout the school day.  
“ I’m sorry about that, I actually have to head out but I’ll see you Wednesday?” Maria asked and Cris nodded her head.  
“ Yup. Six o clock “. After being pulled into yet another small hug Cris followed Maria out and waved a small goodbye as they went separate ways.

She was supposed to have been home by now to help her mother with dinner yet Cris found herself at the entrance of the skate park where she’d almost been hit by Lucia. It wasn’t like she’d ever skated and Cris was almost certain she stood out from everyone else besides the fact they all had boards and she didn’t. She saw Lucia sitting on one of the steps in an animated conversation with the girl standing in front of her. Dark hair pulled up in a pony tail with purple tips...yup it was Joana. Cris took a step back suddenly feeling nervous but an arm draped over her shoulders stopping her in place. “ Yo Soto I’ve never seen you here, you tryna skate”. It was Eloy.

Cris tried to slip from under his hold, blue eyes darting back over to the steps where Lucia’s eyes were now on hers and a small smirk formed. Fuck. “ Um no I was wanted to check the place out but I did so I should just-“  
“ I see you came back Cris”. Now Lucia was making her way over slowly pushing on her board before stopping just short of Cris. “ Good seeing you again”. Cris forced a short smile as her brain tried to work a way out the situation. It wasn’t that she hadn’t figured Joana would be there, it was more of the fact that physically seeing her reminded Cris how not ready she was to see her.

And she was walking over.

There was slight confusion that crossed her features from the way her brows furred and her eyes darted over to Lucia and then back at Cris with an unreadable expression. “ I didn’t know you two knew each other” Joana was looking at Lucia now and Cris watched as Lu cocked her head to the side with a playful expression next to Joana’s stotic one. “ Yeah were buds now” and Cris payed attention to the way Lucia emphasized ‘buds’ and rested a hand on Cris’s shoulder. Joana followed the motion and if looks could kill...

“ So what are you doing here” Joana frowned slightly finally pulling her eyes away from where Lucia’s hand had rested to cut a sharp look towards Cris almost challenging and it pissed Cris off.  
“ To skate”  
Joana scoffed. “ Skate...Really?”  
“ Yes really” Cris bit out as she watched Joana roll her eyes and lean back against the railing.  
“ Here you can use my board” Lucia made a motion with her skateboard and Cris all but hesitantly took it and then placed it on the ground. She knew Joana was waiting for Cris to say that she couldn’t skate but there was no way in hell Cris was going to, not when she had that smug look on her face. She’d seen Dani board a few times when they were kids and the foundation seemed simple enough. Plant a foot and push off with the other seemed pretty damn easy.

It wasn’t easy at all.

One moment Cris was on the board doing well and then faintly hearing shouts from Lucia and Eloy to slow down, there was a hill and the next thing Cris knew she was on her back looking up at the evening sky. At least the view was nice.  
“ Shit Cris are you okay”. A panic voiced rung from her side and Cris slowly turned her head to see Joana’s concerned eyes on her. Her back hurt and there was a stinging feeling on Cris’s arm but other than that she was fine.  
“ I told you I could skate” Cris groaned as she allowed Joana to pull her up.  
“ Your crazy you know that” there was a small smile on Joana’s lips that quickly wiped away the moment her eyes dropped to Cris’s arm. “ Your bleeding”.

Cris told Joana over and over that she was fine despite being pulled by the girl who insisted it needed to be cleaned before it got an infection and when Cris looked over to Lucia for help the girl simply smiled and waved her off as Joana dragged her along. Some help she was.  
“Sit” Joana mumbled before turning to grab the small med kit and Cris listened with a pout. “ It’s not that bad”.  
“ Last thing I need is for you to go home bleeding all over and your parents coming to look for the neatherthals who let you on a board”.  
“ They wouldn’t do that”  
“ Mhmmm sure”. Joana sat down on the bench directly across from Cris, too close than was needed but neither of them said a thing and Cris let her tend to the wound.

“ Why didn’t you just say you couldn’t skate?” Joana spoke up after awhile.  
“ Why’d you assume I couldn’t”  
“ Because you planted in like five seconds” She shrugged.  
“ Well maybe if you didn’t have that smug look on your face then I wouldn’t have”.  
Joana leaned back after applying the band aid. Her eyes briefly dropped to Cris’s lips before smirking.  
“ This look?”. The way she feigned innocence made Cris rolled her eyes.  
“ Yes”.  
“ If it bothers you so much then do something about it”. 

Cris should’ve known better than to be baited into Joana’s teasing but it was hard when she was looking at her the way that she did, when her lips curved up like that and they were in such close proximity that Cris could feel Joana’s breath against her lips and despite it, all she gave in. The kiss was brief because as much as Cris would have loved to get lost in everything that was Joana, her mind kept playing back the party and her lips against Eloy and Cris kissing Rubèn out of spite and- shit she couldn’t do it. Her hand had enough force to push Joana away and Cris quickly stood up from the bench as Joana sighed. “ You can’t keep doing this” Cris breathed out. “ Kissing me and kissing Eloy”. Joana was quiet her eyes leveled with Cris though her shoulders visibly dropped.  
“ You say that I don’t know what I want but...neither do you”.  
~~~~~~~~~  
“Cris”  
“Hmmm?”  
“ I was saying I’m proud of you for getting that job”. Her mother looked across the dinner table with a pleased expression on her face and Cris faked a smile before everyone went back to small chatter and Cris was left to her thoughts. She spent the remainder of dinner ignoring Danni’s curious gaze and all but tuned out her mother’s words before slipping into her room for the remainder of the night. 

She ignored Ruben’s text asking if she was okay and she didn’t even bother to open the group chat and see what she’d missed out after she left the party the other day. Honestly Cris was drained. On one half she couldn’t get Joana out of her mind and how she made her feel but the other part of Cris knew she couldn’t keep slipping up and kissing her only to see Joana with Eloy. It hurt too much and even more so it was confusing, because while Joana was with Eloy it was more than evident to Cris that she had feelings for her. She still remembered how tense Joana was after Cris said she couldn’t do it anymore, the mixture of emotions in those brown eyes before she all but pushed past Cris and headed back to Lucia and them. How she didn’t even bother to make eye contact when Cris said goodbye to everyone.

At two o’clock Cris would have usually been asleep but instead she listened to the rumbling of rain outside her window while scrolling through Nora’s Instagram until the message that popped up on her screen rendered Cris still.  
J: Let me in please  
Cris sat up abruptly as she made sure she was reading the text right before tossing the covers back and climbing out of bed. She peaked her head out her room to the quiet house before slowly tiptoeing towards the front door, careful not to make any noise knowing her mother was kind of a light sleeper. 

Cris had no idea what to think and slowly opening the door her eyes landed on a drenched Joana. She was standing in a light jacket, ripped jeans and worn sneakers, her hair clung to her body and her board was rested against the wall.  
“ What the hell Joana” Cris hushed shouted, her head glancing over her shoulder before looking back at the shuddering girl. “ Did you you really skate in that weather!?”  
Joana’s only response was a stiff nod and Cris sighed before opening the door wide enough for Joana to step inside.

It felt like some covert opt mission. Cris scrambling to grab a towels for Joana and one to wipe the water trail on the floor to her bedroom without making noise. Once they were both inside she quietly watched Joana put down her board and the her fingers fiddled with each other.  
“ Joana...”  
“ I know its stupid me being here but I just-“  
“ Are you okay?” Cris pressed noticing Joana’s movements.  
“ I’m not with Eloy okay” Joana was looking at Cris with something mixed with apology and anxiousness and Cris replayed the words.

I’m not with Eloy.

“ I know you think we’re dating and we’re not and I-“ Cris watched the way Joana’s jaw clenched and a small distraught huff slipped out before she walked over and took Joana’s restless hands into hers. “Okay” her voice was soft, barely audible but Joana heard. Cris helped her remove the wet clothing for the most part before moving to her dresser to pull out a pair of shorts and t shirt only to have her cheeks redden when Joana began lifting her shirt over her head and Cris caught sight of another tattoo.

With them everything had been sexual and lust filled until now. Cris had crawled into bed pulling Joana with her and allowed her body to press close to hers and Cris was certain the pounding of the ran drowned out the sound of her heart. Joana didn’t go further into what made her suddenly come over, but she did press a soft kiss to Cris’s cheek and mention briefly about getting her a practice board and Cris eventually feel asleep to the feeling of Joana tracing small soothing circles on the exposed skin of her stomach.


	16. Chapter 16

The first thing Cris woke up to was the faint aroma of food, idle chatter coming from the front of the house and the sudden feeling of extra weight on her right side. At first she thought it was the weight of the blanket though through heavy eyelids she realized how wrong she was. Joana was sprawled out half on top of her, raven hair sprawled out over Cris’s chest and her arms wrapped loosely around her waist. The sight was a cute one and Cris’s lips curved up into a sleepy smile taking in how peaceful Joana looked before beginning her movement out bed.

Well she tried. The moment she began shifting underneath the raven haired girl Cris could feel a hold on her waist as Joana shook her head slowly. “ Stay” and maybe it was how soft the words came out and the way Cris’s heart fluttered because she almost gave in and allowed for the two of them to try and enjoy whatever moments of peace were left, but she there was a very pressing matter at hand. Her parents. 

The sound of her fathers morning chatter and Dani’s laugh could be heard which meant that shortly- “ Cristina” there were three soft knocks on the door and Cris quickly brought the covers that had been kicked down near Joana’s waist over the girl before abruptly sitting up so that Joana slid off her body and out of view. When the door opened Cris forced a weak smile while her mothers gaze found her daughters only for a moment. “ I’ve been calling you, come eat”  
“ I’m coming now” Cris nodded as her mom slipped back out the door leaving Cris to try and figure out what she was going to do.

Her dad usually left right after breakfast along with Dani for practice but it was her mom who was a hit or miss. On some days she’d sit in her favorite chair which was closest to the door while watching tv and sewing or she left the house as well to shop. Cris just prayed it was the second one today. Joana was awake now and Cris could feel the slight dip in the bed Joana’s groan as her body stretched and then the feel of a chin resting on top her shoulder.  
“ Food smells good”.  
“ Yeah, look just stay here okay? I’ll um- I’ll find a way to get you food but my parents can’t see you”.

Joana was silent only giving a nod before glancing at the door with a smirk though she only spoke the moment Cris’s fingers touched the door handle. “ What if I have to pee?”. Her brown eyes were playful and Cris rolled her eyes opening the door.   
“ Just hold it I’ll eat fast”.

For the entire time Cris sat at the table her eyes glanced past her fathers shoulder to the hall where her door was, she all but hummed in response to whatever her mother was saying only looking over when her mom make a remark to her. “ Cris were you even listening?”  
“ Hmmm? Oh uh yeah”  
Her mom’s eyes narrowed “ Really? So what did I just say”.  
“ Something about work I think”.   
“ I was asking if-“ Really Cris was paying attention but out the corner of her eye she saw movement followed by Joana’s hair and Cris almost choked on her juice.

When Dani moved to get up Cris raised a hand keeping him where he was at, her hand rubbing her throat while her dad raised an eyebrow and her mom looked both concerned and confused. Joana was dressed in the clothes she had came in, slow movements towards the door and Cris was trying to figure out which part of stay put in her room did she miss.

 

“ Cris are you okay?” Her mom was giving her a look before slowly turning to glance over her shoulder where Joana was now in the process of slowly opening the door and Cris abruptly stood up. “ No! I um- I’m not okay”  
Jesus if she didn’t look like a nut case before she sure did now. “ Cristina?” Her fathers voice rung out and all eyes were on her now with the same bewildered look though Dani was fighting back a laugh. There was a faint click of the door that sounded but Cris quickly coughed loudly as she sat back down. “ My throats been acting up...sorry”.

She watched as both of her parents eyed each other with silent conversation that Cris could only assume was them trying to figure out which one gave the weird gene to her while Dani simply snickered shooting a glance in Cris’s direction. “ You never fail to entertain me”.  
Her response was giving Dani the finger while actively ignoring her mothers disapproving look to finish her plate as quickly as possible. It wasn’t until the vibration of her phone in her lap drew her attention and she couldn’t fight the way her lips curved up into a smile.

Joana: You owe me breakfast.


	17. Chapter 17

She messed up.

It’s still early when the girls show up evidently by Cris’s locker with chipper smiles and greetings that didn’t quite match the early morning grogginess she was feeling. Viri was far too animated for Cris who leaned her head back against the lockers as she half listened to her friends rambling before her eyes slowly moved down the hall, landing on Joana who was in some conversation with two friends of hers though her eyes were tired and she looked like she wanted to be anywhere else. It must have been the feeling of someone watching her because after a few seconds Joana was glancing over her shoulder in Cris’s direction and she watched how lively Joana suddenly turned and it was because of her.

Cris’s stomach flipped.

Faint memories of the night in her bedroom, how for those short hours she felt more at peace in a long time. That being around her their was no precious worries, no Rubèn, no mom breathing down her neck or internalized fear. She was happy, and there was that realization that Cris wanted more of that with Joana.  
It just seemed a lot harder putting wants into reality.

Their was still that lingering fear of what her friends would think and that suffocating feeling only intensified as Joana moved away from her friends and began walking over to Cris. After the other day there really wasn’t any way to tell what Joana would do when she got close and Cris tensed up at the realization. 

“ Morning beautiful” Joana’s slightly raspy voice rung out stopping in front of Cris who glanced sideways where Amira wore a slight look of surprise but nothing more and Cris didn’t dare bring her eyes to the other girls. Her hand extended when Joana went to move forward and Cris watched the girl look down at Cris’s hand with slight confusion before shaking it.

“ Um this is Joana you guys remember my friend from Pedro’s class”. the words were rushed out as she finally looked at the rest of the girls who slowly nodded their head, Eva giving Joana a small smile and ‘morning’ but Joana’s gaze was locked solely on Cris with a blank expression.  
“ Friend?” Joana spoke evenly with a slight look of disbelief and Cris bit down on the inside of her cheek glancing between the girl she liked and her friends who looked as confused.

“ Yeah silly, I’ll see you in class?” Cris patted Joana’s shoulder and watched her eyes follow the contact. The smile she wore for Cris just moments ago was long gone and now replaced with a frown and a distant look in her brown eyes. “ See you in class Cris”. And with that she turned and headed down the hall and Cris’s stomach flipped again, this time for an entirely different reason.

Unsurprisingly Joana ignored Cris throughout class despite Cris trying to explain herself, there were no looks across the cafeteria during lunch, her texts were ignored and when their eyes did happen to land on each other in the hall, Joana’s jaw would clench and her eyes looked away as quickly as they landed.  
————  
“ It’s looking pretty good in here” Cris’s head lifted up from the box she was organizing to meet Mrs. B’s small smile as she leaned into the doorway and looked around at the progress. “ I’m going to head to the bank and I’ll be back with this weeks pay”. Cris nodded watching the woman slip out the doorway and honestly Cris was glad her mom forced her to get a job. Not that she’d ever tell her that.

The job was simple, the pay was decent, and the woman she worked for was a complete angel. Hell having the job now was the only thing that kept Cris’s mind from constantly replaying how bad she fucked up this morning with Joana and how hard it was going to be getting her to talk her again.

For the remaining thirty minutes Cris threw away useless items and cleared out boxes up until she heard the click of the door realizing that it was pretty much time for her to leave and Mrs. B had returned. Standing back to look at her work Cris let out a content sigh as she stepped over a few small boxes and closing the double doors behind her.

“ About two more corners and it’ll be-“ Cris froze mid step at the figure in the kitchen and the smirk on her face dropped immediately at the sight of familiar raven colored hair. Joana was currently sitting on top of the counter drinking some water, hair pulled up into a ponytail and dressed into nothing but a pair of shorts and a black sports bra. There was a sporting bruise forming on her calf and a slight cut on her cheek though seeing her board resting against the counter, Cris didn’t have to guess as to how she got them.

Joana’s head quickly turned to the sudden motion out the corner of her eye and Cris found her fingers tugging through strands of blonde hair as she watched Joana pluck out her ear buds and hop off the counter with narrow eyes.

“ What the hell are you doing here ?”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such a long wait. Classes are back and whatnot but thanks for being patient with me!


	18. Chapter 18

“ What the hell are you doing here?”

It seemed like such a logical question that didn’t require much thought for a follow up and yet Cris couldn’t seem to formulate any kind of sentence. Joana was leaning against the island bottle now discarded on the counter with folded arms awaiting an explanation that Cris hadn’t thought to speak on. Her eyes were too busy making a quick decent down to the peak of a tattoo along Joana’s rib just below her sports bra, to her toned stomach and the way her muscles contracted in slight heavy breaths-

“ Cris” The sound of her name brought her gaze quickly back up to peering brown eyes that seemed to catch the movement of where Cris’s eyes had previously been and their was a faint smirk on Joana’s lips but it was barley that. “ I-“  
“ Sorry I took so long” The warm voice of familiarity sounded from around the corner and Cris watched as Mrs. B appeared with a small envelope in hand, warm smile as usual and now starring long and hard it was easy to see the resemblance between the two.

Mrs.B paused in her movements towards Cris to look at Joana with a look that Cris noted as motherly dotting and she was silent as she watched the interaction before her. Joana huffing and moving her head away as her mother went to check the new sporting bruises only to give up at the futile attempt when Joana moved closer to Cris in an escape to put some distance between her and her mom. Cris noticed the closeness.

“ Honey this is Cris, she’s been helping me with the room”. Joana’s gaze briefly looked in Cris’s direction but her face was unreadable as brown eyes glanced away with a small nod. “ Yeah I know her from school”. The news seemed to spark excitement in Mrs. B practically smiling from ear to ear about Joana having a friend and at the word Joana scoffed. It was clear her mother didn’t catch the remark but Cris did and when their eyes finally locked once more, she frowned.

Cris smiled slightly into the small conversation she was pulled into with Mrs. B while Joana seemed detached by all means in the way she glanced out the window to drumming her fingers almost impatiently along the counter, boredom evident in her eyes yet Cris didn’t understand why she stuck around if she didn’t want to be near them, near her.

She stayed for the whole conversation.

After about ten minutes or so Mrs. B was giving Cris a quick hug with apologies for taking up time as she headed towards the stairs, not before giving Joana a soundly cheek kiss that Joana groaned to in protest but there wasn’t much of a fight besides that. Cris silently counted the sound of steps before quietness filled the kitchen and Cris realized it was just the two of them.

The silence between them was deafening and Cris messed with the small envelope in her hand before finally speaking up.   
“ Your moms really cool”  
“ Tch, I guess to you”   
“ You don’t think so?” Cris watched Joana sigh resting both elbows on the countertop.   
“ I mean she’s my mom so I think she’s pretty corny sometimes, but I’m sure you’d same the same thing if I said your mom was cool”.   
“ True”  
“Mhmm”. 

“ I’m an ass, I’m sorry” The words just blurted out without restraint and Joana was actually looking at Cris now, eyebrow raised slightly. “ What?”.   
“ Earlier today in the hall” Cris sighed looking down“ I wanted to hug you, to just- I don’t know.. I keep hurting you being scared to be happy and I don’t want to do that to you again. I don’t want to keep hiding how I feel so I’m sorry okay?”.

At the silence Cris is certain that Joana was still pissed but then theres a slight pad of footsteps and Joana’s finger is tilting her head back up into brown eyes that were softer than they had been since she came in. There’s so much more Cris wanted to say but putting thoughts into proper words seemed that much harder with Joana leaning her forehead against her own and the feel of her thumb softly stroking Cris’s cheek was too much.  
“ Okay” Joana’s voice comes out in a soft whisper against Cris’s lips before kissing her.

Joana’s fingers are in her hair and Cris’s hands find Joana’s waist pulling her into her body as her back connects with the counter and it’s pretty damn reckless considering Mrs. B’s right upstairs. It’s easy to find minor details falling to the back of ones thoughts when Jonas lips are on her mouth and neck, rather bold in her pursuit and Cris tilts her head to give her more access. She can feel Joana smiling against her skin through short kisses and small lingering nips which elicit the very sound Joana seemed to be aiming for.   
“ Stupid” Cris’s voice comes out breathy as she gently pushes Joana seeing her ‘all too cocky’ smirk resting proud on her face.

There’s a sound from upstairs and Joana takes a step back in start to put space between them but Mrs. B’s already halfway in the kitchen, phone in ear and the obvious distraction allows Cris to take a side step out of Joana’s proximity right as Mrs. B’s eyes finally find the two beside the fridge. Cris is beyond nervous as she watches Joana’s mom glance between the two eyebrow raised at her daughter who rolls her eyes but says nothing. Cris manages to force a nervous smile as she watches Joana’s mom slightly put her phone down. “ Oh! I’m surprised you’re still here”. Her voice is something of slight surprise but her eyes didn’t hold any signs of knowing or any hint of anger.

“ Oh yeah I was just- I um, leaving now” Cris was certain her cheeks were red by now and Joana’s small snicker didn’t help as she awkwardly maneuvered her way around the girl and past Mrs. B who’s eyes dropped down to something Cris figured was behind her before giving a small smile and wave as Cris closed the door behind her. She spent a good five minutes trying to calm the redness of her cheeks as she walked home only for them to redden again at the memories of what happened in the kitchen.


	19. Chapter 19

It’s the afternoon and Cris is hyper aware of brown eyes boring into the entirety of her skin to the point that she can’t tune into Nora’s and Eva’s conversation long enough before she’s met with a cocky smirk to match teasing eyes from across the steps of the school. Joana’s leaning along a rail, foot rocking her board back and forth as she engaged in whatever conversation was going on next to her amongst her friends though, her eyes would occasionally cast over to Cris. 

She shouldn’t goad her on in public knowing Joana was one to take the bait but the way Joana’s looking at her with that same teasing smirk, that same glint in her eyes that’s solely for Cris, and she can’t help but let her blue eyes cast down to pink lips with faint memory of earlier on being pulled into a backside of an apartment building and being met with soft lips against her own that left her dazed before meeting up with her friends.

Cris doesn’t want to be obvious, she really doesn’t but it’s hard when her eyes have a mind of its own, constantly seeking brown ones that make her skin heat up at the sight and it’s the fifth time that they meet each other gaze, not that Cris is counting. She watches as Joana tilts her head slightly, hands moving to reach for her board and then without warning, she’s approaching Cris.

There’s the feeling of Amira’s gaze on her while Cris is mentally counting down the fifteen steps until Joana gets close enough that her group of friends notice her presence. Nora’s fixated on Alejandro’s recent stunt to which captures Viri’s attention while Eva’s adding in her little input and Cris hopes that their conversation is distraction enough.

It isn’t.

Joana’s a few feet away and Cris hears Nora’s voice slowly dwindle at the new presence closing in.  
“ Hey beautiful” Joana’s voice is as lazy as her stance with hands shoved into the pockets of her black cargo pants, half smile resting on her lips and eyes demanding Cris’s attention.   
“Hey”. Cris finds herself running her fingers through blonde hair while actively ignoring the faint grin tugging on Amira’s lips, amused by the sudden bold interaction while Cris could only assume what the other girls were thinking.

“ I was wondering if you wanted to work on Pedro’s project later?”

The question was one that could’ve been sent through text, they both knew that and not that Cris didn’t mind the closeness, Joana’s finger ever so faintly brushing against her knuckles, Cris knew the subtle teasing had gotten to be too much for the raven haired girl beside her. Cris found her fingers flexing out slightly to feel the skin against her own and it was becoming frustratingly hard to keep composure like before. How she didn’t want to despite...circumstances.

Out the corner of her eyes Cris could feel the other girl’s gaze on her, Amira glancing between the two like a movie was playing before her while the others remained silent, eyes filled with nothing more than faint curiosity much to what Cris could read before darting her eyes back to Joana. “ Yeah come around six?”. She watched the girl nod her head pleased before looking over Cris’s shoulder to shoot her friends a warm smile followed by a short wave and then, she’s walking back over to her friends.

It takes a moment for Cris to calm her nerves before looking back at the girls.

“ That’s the new girl right?” Viri questions and after being met with Cris’s nod proceeds to look over in her direction.  
“ I’ve seen her around a few times” Eva chimes in with slight enthusiasm much like herself and to Cris’s relief, the conversation pertaining to Joana dies out almost as quickly as it started. She’s only reminded of Amira’s teasing smirk that causes Cris’s cheeks to redden and when the other girls ask, she comes up with a lame excuse.

——— [6:10]  
Joana’s not even ten steps in the room when Cris pulls her in for a kiss. It’s slightly clumsily, hasty in her movements that are met with Joana’s hand gripping her waist while the other presses the door close as her back falls against it. There’s a smile ghosting Joana’s lips that Cris attempts to kiss away before the same hand that gripping her waist is used to gently push her back.

“ Someone’s eager” The sound of Joana’s laugh fills the room and Cris feels her cheeks heat up, taking a step back as she blows out a short huff and licks her lips. Joana follows the motion. “ I’ve been wanting to kiss you all day” the statements bold and Cris watches the way Joana’s eyes widen, how her jaw clenches slightly and brown eyes drop to Cris’s lips. There’s a beat of silence and Cris watches Joana’s eyes darken before she’s shaking her head with a small smile. “ Don’t worry we’ll have plenty of time for that”. She leans down to Cris’s ear placing a teasing kiss that does nothing to calm the way Cris feels right now. “ Project first”.

Joana’s going into detail about the film but honestly the only thing Cris can focus on is her lips and the way Joana’s tongue flicks out to wet her bottom one, how she pulls her bottom lips between her teeth when she’s in deep thought and- damn it’s hard to focus. 

Cris gets caught starring three times. 

By the third time Cris doesn’t even bother hiding her starring to which Joana tilts her head back letting out a laugh that makes Cris’s stomach flutter. “ Are you even paying attention?”  
“ Yes...kind of” Cris grins sheepishly and she watches as Joana taps the pen against the book seemingly in deep thought and then after a moment, she leans in and kisses Cris. It’s not a faint peck like the ones Joana slipped in throughout the study session, though Cris deepens it the moment she feels her begin to pull away and Joana hums against her lips.

Cris can feel Joana’s resolve is breaking. Her kisses are rougher, more urgent and the breathy “ fuck Cris” that comes out against her ear fuels her even more despite the million reasons why they shouldn’t. The main one being her parents. Being that her mom had a knack for randomly barging into her room, that should’ve been enough to end the moment between them. A shuddered break escapes Cris lips at the feel of Joana’s fingertips underneath the hem of her shirt and trailing up the skin of her stomach but then there’s two knocks on the door and they pull apart with lightening speed.

“ Cris?” Her mom’s voice rings out and there’s enough of a pause that Joana’s able to get off of Cris and create a small amount of space before the door opens right as Cris pulls down her shirt. There’s a small panic that shoots through Cris as she watches as her mom’s gaze dart between the two but no look of realization crosses her features.

“ Dinners going to be ready in 10. Joana you’re welcome to stay for dinner if you want”. 

Joana let’s out a nervous smile but Cris figures it’s because she’s trying to regain her composure after what just happened. “ Oh thank you but that’s okay. I was just getting ready to head out”. At the news Cris’s mom nods her head closing the door and the moment it shuts, Cris let’s out a sigh of relief.

“ Damn” her eyes shoot over to Joana who’s pulling her hair up into a pony tail, body already off the bed and Cris frowns already missing the body warmth. 

“ Hey”

Joana pauses in her movements, head turning to meet Cris’s gaze. “ Viri’s Birthday is coming up and we’re having a party here and...do you wanna come?”. She watches as the raven haired girl hums in thought before responding. “ I’m in”.  
“ Really?”  
“ If you’re there then yes”. The statement makes Cris drop her head in a smile as she silently listens to Joana getting ready while she builds up the courage to get out her next set of words.

“ I wanna tell them about us... I’m gonna tell them about us”. The words come out rushed and Cris’s eyes slowly move up to see Joana starring at her intently before her mouth slowly curves up into a smile, one that makes it hard for Cris not to do the same.   
“ You sure?” Joana’s pulling on her jean jacket and despite her smile, her eyes are wary, uncertain and Cris finds herself climbing off the bed and wrapping her arms loosely around Joana’s waist.

“ I don’t want to keep pretending that we aren’t together when I’m with them, acting like I don’t like you... it’s exhausting and it’s time I stop being scared right”. Joana’s lips find Cris and it’s soft and tender, comely different from a few minutes ago. 

“ I’m glad “ the words come out as soft as the kiss and Cris allows her forehead to press against the girls and for a few moments there’s just silence and the feel of Joana’s thumb stroking her cheek before a chaste kiss is pressed against her forehead and Joana’s pulling away.

“ I better go before your mom comes back and really catches us this time- that would really be something”.

“ Stupid” Cris rolls her eyes fighting the smile tugging on the corner of her lips as Joana chuckles and walks to the door.

“ See you later, beautiful”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof it’s been a hot minute but here’s an update. I wanna be more on top of this fic so I’m going to start posting polls of ideas for upcoming chapters on my Twitter. That way you guys can be involved and chapters can come out faster! Lemme know in the comments of you like the idea and I’ll put my Twitter for you guys to follow ❤️

**Author's Note:**

> I greatly appreciate all the support on this fic and it means a lot :) More chapters coming soon!


End file.
